"Trouble!!" she said as I approached her.
"Hi, how are you?" I replied.
After not seeing her for nearly five years, I was hoping we could have an adult to adult conversation. Besides, didn't I just hear her speak about her troubled past. Her heartache and pain?

I know where you've been, I felt like saying. I know what pain is. Heartache, yea, I've had that, too. And I often don't know what to do with it.

But, instead, I found myself in this sea of people, smiling. Because, that's what I do. I smile. I make poeple feel good about themselves. I make people thankful for the nice-looking, healthy bodies they have.

I smile, while they smile back. And then I go home.

Forget the tight muscles. Or the difficulty eating. Or my spasms. It's a piece of cake.

Compared to the intoxicating lonliness.

And then this song came on

I need you Jesus,
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You




15 minutes later, this song played through my car stereo

"Be still my child," says the Lord.

"Cosider all that I have done," He continues. "Stand in awe and be amazed."

"Put your head upon my breast," He says. "I AM your Father."

"Listen to MY heart of love beating for YOU."

One of My Favorite Guys

He only got stern with me once. My two cousins,Katie and Coby, and I would often spend the night at Grandpa and Grandma's. All three of us were lined up on the living room floor, comfy in our sleeping bags. Minutes after Grandma said, "night girls," we'd have the 12-inch tv on. We made sure to keep it quit as to not wake Gramps and Gram. We knew we were safe when the sound of their snoring came in our direction.

When we'd finally turn the tv off, that clock would chime. Oh, that lovely clock! Grandma had that thing for years. When we got older, and didn't sleep over anymore, she got a quite clock. Nice timing.

Anyway, on to the incident. Saturdays at Gramps and Grams consisted of being outside or going to Granpa's shop. We were Grandpa's three little secretaries. But, this day we stayed at the house. Grandma had the golf cart out. I have to say that their driveway is at about a 60 degree angle. I was a bit too excited to drive appearently, because I took off down that slope and ran right into the light pole across the street. I can still picture he coming down the driveway. "I though I told you to be careful!" I was off golf duty for the day.

n
He didn't give up on me. Grampa taught me how to drive. Many poeple have said that its crazy to think I can drive. Here's a little food for thought. When I'm hanging onto something sturdy I don't spaz out. I know, that's an extremely bad way of explaining it, but its 2am. On Sundays Grampa would take me out for a drive. He knew I'd get the hang of it.

He loved to boat. We'd always vacation at lake Cormorot. The kids all learned to ski and tube. Grampa would spend the entire week driving the boat for us. I got burned more times then I care to think about.

Miss you!

Does anyone have a straight jacket?

If you haven't guessed by now, I'm going through me old pictures. I want to do a project of some sort with them, but haven't quite figured out what that will be. Most of my early days were comprised of wierd faces and ugly hair.
Alas, someone took these pictures - not sure
who.

I don't know what I'm doing here. Perhaps I was impersonating my favorite character. Maybe I was playing Gestures. Or I coud've just been trying to pose for this picture!

At any rate, I take up alot of space. Forget the fact that I'm animated; these CP muscels won't stay still for anything! The only difference between this "me" and now is that I've gained a few (or alot) extra pounds, adopted a better hair style, and have better glasses.

I still take up space............thats one of the reasons I do not enjoy flying. Those seats aren't exactly spacious. I tend to hit my nieghbor one in a while - thankfully, most of them aren't too annoyed. (I wonder: Would people rather sit by me, or a crying 1 yr old - at least I don't cry!) The worst part is that when I do drift off to dreamland, my body instictively knows, as if to say to my muscels, "You've been still for five minutes; you better do something!" It's amazing. Like clockwork. I love it!

Oh well, I get to go to BC to spend some time with my sis and cousin! Maybe the plane will be empty..........

Can't Sleep

We are total opposites. Her house is spotless; my apartment is...not spotless. I'm funny; she's not. The list goes on.

Much to her dismay, we've been friends. for over 20 yesrs. Her name is Danica. She was 19 when she saw me for the first time, in her words, "riding a scooter in PE, playing hocky." I don't remember our first meeting, but I'm sure it was charming.

Danica was a new intern at my school, fresh out of occupational therapy school. She still recalls how boring Rock Valley was -- so boring, she hung out with twerp like me.

She's moved on.......she's docter's wife and mom of two boys. We've seen each other about once a year, and this ole' Iowa girl has seen many parts of the US because of the places she's lived. Ask Danica about camping at Lake Tahoe!

And whille I'll never be a neat freak, and she'll never be funny, we'll always be friends.

Oh, Danica, thanks for the memories, chica!! Love you!

More of my DC trip

Tuesday, we had a meeting with the Alliance to End Hunger.   We met with  Cody Fischer, the manager of membership services. FRB is partnering with the organization in an effort to build relationships in DC and around the world.

The Bread for the World headquarters was in the same building. I thought that was neat, so I took a picture.

 

 

Wednesday, we attended Senator Harkin’s breakfast. I, of course, had no idea how these breakfasts go. Much to our surprise, Harkin and his staff knew we were coming. When Harkin made his way around the room, he spent some time talking with Ron and I about FRB. It was pretty memorable!

After the breakfast, one of Harkin’s staffers give us a capitol tour. That was pretty amazing…….We were able to witness both the House of Reps and Senate in session. You’d think – or at least I did – that both bodies are similar. They’re not. The House was loud and bustling with activity. The Senate was quite and proper. We g0t scolded for talking in the Senate chambers! As our guide described it – The Senate is like a formal affair, while the House is like a college frat party! If I ever pursue a career in politics, I’ll be a representative!

 

As we were rounding a corner on our tour, Senator Grassley was coming down from the Senate chambers!! Grassley talked with us for  a bit. That was a memorable moment, as well!

Literally, seconds after Grassley came down, Senator Thune appeared! Needless to say, we were all ecstatic!

 

                           

These are just a few pictures we took of the tour. The second picture is of Ron and I beside the statue of Ronald Reagan. The third picture is of Harvey & Judy beside the Minnesota statue. Every state has a statue in the capitol. Iowa’s is a statue of Helen Keller.

Providence

*I can safely say my dad will not read this – he knows nothing about computers. The guy’s emotional enough, he doesn’t need to see this :) *

I think this was taken at Christmas. My dad looks on as I open my gift. Probably a coloring book – I enjoyed coloring, even though the kitchen table got more colorful than the pages – sorry mom!

Dads always enjoy watching their kids find joy. My dad loves to see his kids joyful.

 

 

 

That did not mean, though, that dad spared us from the experiences – unpleasant as they may have been-  of life.  If my dad didn’t push me, I'd still be sitting on the sides of swimming pools, afraid to go in. I recall begging him to to let go of me. He’d say, “Relax, I’m right here.” In reality, all my squirming just hindered my ability to swim.

Or the times he’d say in frustration, at his wits end, “Why do you have to be so stubborn?

To which I’d reply, “Why do you not get it?”

Of course, his famous last words were, “ Oh, I get it!”

When I think of dad,

I think of Jesus.

I find it ironic that dad’s shirt says ‘providence.” Today, Good Friday, providence meant that Jesus would be killed, by the very ones he came to save.

On Sunday, the third day, providence for me means I will one day be with the Lord. Whole. 

 

 

Ramblings/ Perspective

This is the 5-year old version of me. Curly, blonde hair, ugly blue dress, and pink glasses – I think they were pink.

I was at

mom & dad’s

house awhile back to look for

something – are you noticing a pattern, here? Mom said she didn’t want ‘her’ pictures to leave her house…I’m sure she doesn’t even miss them! Sorry, mom! I’ll protect them!

Up until recent years, I didn’t even like looking back at old pictures.  It evoked a bit of sadness. It still does, to a degree.

However, it’s good for us to remember where we’ve come from. I think it reminds me of how far I’ve come – and to keep going.

---------------

13 years later…

I miss these days sometimes. although the ‘business’ of being a teen had its ups and downs, it wasn’t too bad.

These years were relatively carefree. I had the same concerns as my peers. “What should I wear today? ….. What’s going on this weekend? ….  When am I going to get that assignment done – that I didn’t do last night?”

I didn’t worry about paying bills, having a job, how my investments were doing… even putting gas in my car (Yes, I was spoiled.) - I just worried about getting to school before the morning bell. :S

Someday, Perhaps, I would.

Life  was simple back then. Of course, I thought it was complicated. But, really, it was pretty simple.

In many ways, life, for me, has not changed. Life is simple – I don’t have a family to get out the door in the morning…most days, I don’t even need to get out the door. (I work from home.)

I do think about money,  but not because I have too much. I don’t think about  where to invest my money.

I don’t have a mortgage, I make a monthly rent payment.

Someday perhaps, I will.

Someday, I’ll   figure out the secret of being completely content.

But, for now, I’ll keep pluggin’ away at this thing called life.