Stumbling in the Dark

The clock on my dresser, stacked with laundry I still have yet to put in it's respective drawers, says 2:30 am. Actually, the time is 1:30 - I haven't gotten around - even after two months - to changing the time on it.

I'm thirsty. I hate when this happens; I'm so warm and cozy in my cocoon of blankets. Now I have to get out of bed. I sit up and wait a few second for my body to be lucid. I make my way out of the bedroom, past the couch and into the kitchen, only walking into one object - a good night for me.

I grab a cup from the cupboard and fill it full with water. My shaky hands lift the cup to the counter; the cup leaving a trail of spilled water behind it. I reach for a straw, place it in the cup, and bend forward to take a drink. As my mouth touches the straw, my eyes catch the light peering through the bottom of the door to my apartment.

The brightness is almost too much for my sleepy eyes. I jerk, turning my head.

But then, I'm reminded of the Eternal Light. How He shines into the darkest ares of my life.... This, both a comfort and conviction.

I turn back to the light coming from underneath that door and finish drinking my water.

Thank you, Lord, for quiet moments like these.

Born is the King.....

Advent is here. And I'm just now beginning to realize how meaningful these few weeks are. Crazy, really. For 27 years, I've been in church, singing advent songs, never really thinking about the significance of Advent.

I wonder what the Father was thinking as He anticipated this event, the birth of His son, Jesus. He knew Jesus was coming into a world that would reject him. The Father knew Jesus was coming into this world to ultimately die for the sins for mankind.

Oh, how the Father loves his children. Absolutely amazing....

Distant Memories....

I said I was going to start blogging again. Honestly, I don't have much to say these days... Howevey, as I was getting my mail from down the hall a few minutes ago, the street light outside sparked a distant memory that we still talk about from time to time.

I was about four years old. My parents were youth group leaders at the time, and on this particular night, they had youth group. My sister was gone, so my brother were in charge. Not something I was too thrilled about.

I had fallen asleep on the couch, and in the meantime, Lance and Brian decided to call it a night and go to bed. They shut off every last light in our house, and left me sleeping on the couch. I happened to wake up during this time. I was terrified! I was deathly afraid of the dark as a kid.

So, after freaking out for a few minutes, I went to our sliding glass door, (I think I was attrected to the yard light) and thought it'd be a smart idea to go over to the nieghbors. I wasn't too steady on my feet yet, so I crawled accros our driveway to Denny and Diane, got myself of their deck, and knocked on their sliding glass door. I think I scared them half to death; they were sleeping as well. Just then, my parents got home, and my dad came a got me.

Cazy, huh? I can't believe I did that!

Welcome Back!

This is a welcome back message for my readers.......and an accountability message for me. I have gotten complacent in life again.......unbelievable! Why do I do this? I know the path I'm going down. And I don't like where it leads..........so I getting back in the game!

Which means I need to start writing again. So, I'm going to write everday. About everyday stuff. I don't know........blogging makes my feel connetected to people...even if only two people read my ramblings.

All I know is that I'm not letting myself become what I was.

I'm off to Harp & Bowl..........see ya later.

My heart is bursting right now. On the way home tonight, I heard this song. And it's just what I needed to hear.

I couple weeks ago, a dear friend reminded my that I need to lay everything at the cross - EVERDAY. Wow. That's tough to do sometimes. But it's all I have. All I have is Him. And that's enough. It's more than enough.

I struggle. On a daily basis. My soul is rarely still. I need practice at this surrender thing.

But, when I am still, when I do reflect on my life, I must say I've been so blessed, and it's at times like this that words can't capture my sense of graditude. I was telling a good friend of mine today that I've never felt unloved - by family, by friends, or my heavenly Father.

If I can say that, then the very least I can do for the God who created me, lovees me, knows my every need, is surrender to Him. Everyday.




Lead Me

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
Te word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

Haiti

 

Matthew 25:40
"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Choas. Destruction. Madness. On the surface, that’s what the group saw as they drove through Port Au Prince, Haiti.

On June 23, 2010 a group of 57 people from Iowa, Indiana and Missouri traveled to Haiti to work and live among the Haitian people. Among them was a senior from Western Christian, Janie Boon, who resides in Rock Valley. Janie said she had an invaluable experience with the crew of American volunteers.

The destruction from the earthquake that hit in January of this year was still evident. The collapsed, abandoned buildings were all around. There were several tent villages - people living in tents because their homes were wiped out - with only the clothes on their back.

Among the devastation, however, there is hope.

 One of my favorite pictures. Tate’s Shirt says it all. 

                    

                   THER’S ALWAYS HOPE

My team an I with an organization called Mission of Hope, which is about 14 miles from Haiti’s Capitol, Port Au Prince.

The Mission of Hope was started by Bob and Sharon Johnson from Missouri. They envisioned developing a compound that would meet the wide array of needs in Haiti. Today, nearly 25 years later, the compound has an orphanage, medical clinic, church and school.

The orphanage, called the Hope House is home to 58 children. The mission has committed to raising these children in such a way that when they are adults, they’ll bring about the changes that Haiti so desperately needs. Some of these necessary changes include individuals with an education, strong grassroots leadership, and a passion for their homeland.

The group spent their time doing construction on the compound and going out into the villages to evangelize and do vacation bible school (VBS). When the group asked people if they could pray with them, the Hatians invited them into their homes. Most of the tent city homes consisted of a tattered blue tarp held up by three or four rugged branches.

For Jason Weirsma from Inwood, evangalism was a highlight. He recalled meeting a young prostitute and hearing her talk about how God could not forgive her for what she had done. Wiersma explained that everyone is a sinner saved by grace. Jason and the group prayed with that young woman, and she accepted Christ as her personal savior. The next time they saw her was at the Church of Hope on Sunday!

That same day, another team prayed with a man that appeared very distraught. After the team prayed, the members started moving on. However, one team member felt the need to stay and keep praying. As the team kept praying, the man physically began standing up straighter. By the end of the prayer time, his hands were raised! As the team left the village later, the man came to the bus that the mission team was being transported by, his hands still raised.

One morning the evangelism teams came upon Abraham Village, a tent city near the Mission of Hope. That particular day was market day, which is a day where hundreds of local people buy and sell goods. The people and thousands of pounds of produce stood between the team and Abraham Village.

The team was extremely hesitant as to how the huge yellow school bus would ever make its way through the incredible maze of people. However, as Bridget Vander Tuin of Doon explained, God had bigger plans. The team’s bus driver made his way through the bustling crowd of people so the team could evangelize, do VBS, and provide medical services.

For Jenna Bessler from Bethany, Missouri , attending the church service at the Church of Hope was a highlight.

“The singing was incredible,” said Jenna. “It was amazing to know that we were singing the same songs, only in different languages,” she said. “God heard us all!” She admired how the Haitians praised God with their whole being.

Every night, the group had devotions followed by a time of reflection to process the events they had witnessed that day. While the group witnessed extreme poverty and destruction, they also witnessed the resilient courage and beauty of the Haitian people. Boone, among many other volunteers gained a newfound appreciation for the rich blessings of American life.

The 57 Americans that boarded the flight on June 23, 2010 were strangers, but the group that came back seven days later was bonded together by an experience of a lifetime. The events of that week will forever leave an imprint on each heart; Americans and Haitians alike.

 

"Trouble!!" she said as I approached her.
"Hi, how are you?" I replied.
After not seeing her for nearly five years, I was hoping we could have an adult to adult conversation. Besides, didn't I just hear her speak about her troubled past. Her heartache and pain?

I know where you've been, I felt like saying. I know what pain is. Heartache, yea, I've had that, too. And I often don't know what to do with it.

But, instead, I found myself in this sea of people, smiling. Because, that's what I do. I smile. I make poeple feel good about themselves. I make people thankful for the nice-looking, healthy bodies they have.

I smile, while they smile back. And then I go home.

Forget the tight muscles. Or the difficulty eating. Or my spasms. It's a piece of cake.

Compared to the intoxicating lonliness.

And then this song came on

I need you Jesus,
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You




15 minutes later, this song played through my car stereo

"Be still my child," says the Lord.

"Cosider all that I have done," He continues. "Stand in awe and be amazed."

"Put your head upon my breast," He says. "I AM your Father."

"Listen to MY heart of love beating for YOU."