God's Love

Is amazing. . .

I've been in a funk lately. It goes back to the whole "not being ok with all the good things in my life." Why I do this to myself is beyond me.

Contrary to how things appear, I'm generally not ok with myself. The Lord above is changing me, in big ways, though. I'm learning that I'm ok. God's loving arms are constantly around me. No matter how hard I fight, He's not going to let me go. And I'm so thankful.

Even now, as I type these words, making myself vulnerable to those who might read my blog, I'm fearful. You say, "Kelly? The girl who acts as if she can conquer the world?" Yes. Kelly. The girl who acts as if she can conquer the world.

I want so badly for people to like me, that I forget myself. It's easier to focus on other, perhaps, because then I don't need to focus on myself, the life God has chosen for me. While much of our lives ought to be devoted to others, I'm beginning to realize that I need to focus on God's call on my life. In reality, He put me here for some kind of purpose.

Maybe I'm tired of dealing with "professionals" who ask for my gardian - I've had a few of those in the past few weeks. Maybe I'm tired of those - who have good intentions - seeing me out in public, having a nice conversation with a good friend, begin talking to me like a 10 year old. That kind of dampens the conversation!! Maybe I'm just tired, and need a couple of good nights' sleep!!

Whatever the case, I'm confident the He will not let me go!

Life's a journy. My confidence in Him doesn't mean an easy road. But, that's ok. The best is yet to come!

God's going to have his way regardless of my feelings, thoughts, or actions. I can make it easier on myself by deciding to align myself with his will.