Ramblings/ Perspective

This is the 5-year old version of me. Curly, blonde hair, ugly blue dress, and pink glasses – I think they were pink.

I was at

mom & dad’s

house awhile back to look for

something – are you noticing a pattern, here? Mom said she didn’t want ‘her’ pictures to leave her house…I’m sure she doesn’t even miss them! Sorry, mom! I’ll protect them!

Up until recent years, I didn’t even like looking back at old pictures.  It evoked a bit of sadness. It still does, to a degree.

However, it’s good for us to remember where we’ve come from. I think it reminds me of how far I’ve come – and to keep going.

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13 years later…

I miss these days sometimes. although the ‘business’ of being a teen had its ups and downs, it wasn’t too bad.

These years were relatively carefree. I had the same concerns as my peers. “What should I wear today? ….. What’s going on this weekend? ….  When am I going to get that assignment done – that I didn’t do last night?”

I didn’t worry about paying bills, having a job, how my investments were doing… even putting gas in my car (Yes, I was spoiled.) - I just worried about getting to school before the morning bell. :S

Someday, Perhaps, I would.

Life  was simple back then. Of course, I thought it was complicated. But, really, it was pretty simple.

In many ways, life, for me, has not changed. Life is simple – I don’t have a family to get out the door in the morning…most days, I don’t even need to get out the door. (I work from home.)

I do think about money,  but not because I have too much. I don’t think about  where to invest my money.

I don’t have a mortgage, I make a monthly rent payment.

Someday perhaps, I will.

Someday, I’ll   figure out the secret of being completely content.

But, for now, I’ll keep pluggin’ away at this thing called life.

What. . . .

Do you do with a gift you don't want to use? Give it to someone else - the imfamous 're-gift' ? Maybe give it to charity, like Justice For All? Or maybe stick it in a closet somewhere, and forget about it till who-knows-when.

But, what if you can't give it away? You're stuck with this 'gift.' We all have them. The good Lord has given us all something.

Most people like to share gifts, I think. But, if you're like me, sometimes sharing gets tiresome. When do I share this gift? Some may reject me. I certainly don't want that. Although I can't say I've been rejected by too many, I still hate it. And the crazy thing is, I have to force myself not to focus on that; the smallest bit of the pie.

So, this gift..... - which I don't even know what to call it somedays - if it is meant to be shared, why am I reluctant, in certain situations, to share it?

I'm just like the next person. I want to be loved. I need people...perhaps too much. And that need - too often - overshadows my responsibility to follow God's way.

Life's a journey

Where We've Come From

I was at my parent's several days ago. I needed a card table. Mom said I could have one from the basement, so on my way home one day, I went to the house to find one. I didn't find a card table, but I found something eslse.

I bet I was in 1st grade when I got my first pair of crutches. I knew my fashion back then already.....I wanted my crutches to be pink.

Who knew back then, more the 20 years ago, what life would bring. Never would I have imagined how joyful life could be. Never, on the other hand, could I have imagined how dissappointing life could be.

I doubt my parents knew where I'd be today. Oh, I know they hoped and prayed, as they did for all three of my siblings. They prayed we'd be happy and healthy, and grow to love Jesus.

Just like this crutch, so has been life. The paint has been worn off in some areas. It's dusty and dirty. Some days seemingly impossible -- I remember many falls with those things. Good excuse to go home, though!

However, still intact. Still recognizable. And when I look hard enough, still a gift.

The Weight of Glory

My first reaction is to label this an oxymoron. When I describe something really amazing, I don't use "wieght." Yes, I realize 'wieght' doesn't always mean heavy

.

This song by Josh Wilson struck me yesterday. He sings,
"Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you’ve been feeling
It can’t compare to the joy that’s coming"

If I am honest, which I usually am, I'd have to admit, I'm not very daring, according to this song. Although God has always delivered me from not-so-fun circumstanses; I still cringe at the thought of going through rough spells.

I don't know, just thought I'd share...

Foods Resource Bank

Its mission statement is, "A Christian Response to World Hunger." Started nearly 10 years ago, FRB has rasied millions of dollars to supprt ag developement overseas.

Here in the US, communities are supporting these efforts by coming together around community growing projects. Farmers agree to donate profits from part of their land/livestock to FRB. Members of the community get involved in many ways as well. Suppliers donate fertilizer, ect. Land owners may take a percentage off the rent of the land. Other community members think of other ways to help out. The key here is COMMUNITY!!

Once a month, FRB goes to Capitol Hill to speak with state representatives on its stance of supporting ag developement. FRB usually takes farmers, who are involved in these growing projects, along.

Ron De Weerd, the Development Director for FRB, as well as a friend, invited me to go along and learn more about the relationships FRB is making in DC. I'll be following Rock Valley's Community Growing Project.

went with two couples from Edgerton, Minn. We met Ron and his wife in DC. Monday morning, we hit the ground running! Or, at least walking. We were slowed up a bit by the metro, a bit forgien to us mid-westerners. I've been on metros a handful of times in other cities, but I was completely lost until the last day or so!!

Our first destination was Capitol South, about three trains and 1/2 hr away from our hotel. As we 'emerged' from the metro, I was in awe - More black suits than I have ever seen at a funeral, and people on a mission. Our first meeting was in one of the office buildings of the state reprsentatives, the Longeworth Building. Through security we went, an on to meet the Minn. representaives. The Edgerton couples share their story.

The staffers we extremely hospitable. They listened to Ron & Thea, and Harvey & Judy (Edgerton) tell their story. The staffers repeatedly shared how refresing it was that we were there not to ask for money, but just to share our story. A story of food security that makes sense.

Waiting in the office

of one of the Minn. representaives,

waiting to share our story.

For my broth-in-law,

whose hero is Ronald Reagan.

And for my nephew

who is named after Reagan!!

More later...

Washington DC

was incredible. I'm going to attempt to capture the experience in words. My "old" writing teacher - that's ok to use, I asked him, and besides, he calls himeself old - always said, "show them, don't tell them." I'll never forgot the first time he said that, and it stuck.

I had turned in a paper about my Grandmpa Caswell -- our task was to write about an important parson in our lives. Well, I figured it was a top-notch, slam-dunk essay However, the mark-ups on those poor pages proved otherwise!!

After two days of sobbing - KIDDING! - I kept trying. And, I think I learned a think or two from that "old" guy!

For the record, prof who owned those mark-ups knew, I think, what a great guy Grandpa was. He's distantly related to my gramps.

Grampa was that one who taugh me to drive. What a hero, right? I think so.

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Anyhow, like I said, DC was awesome. I went with a non-profit organization called Foods Resource Bank (FRB) FRB's mission statement is "A Christian Response to World Hunger."

Trufhully, I hadn't given much thought to the way we as a country go about combeting world hunger. We, the most powerful nation in the world, give so much in terms of food aid to other countries. People have food to eat because of the United States. That's a Christian response.......right?

Well, yes...and no.

Stay tuned!

'Emeging' from the Metro near Captitol Hill. By Thursday, the last day, I was begging to understand how it works!

Oh God,

You did this for me! I don't understand. I don't get any of it. Why, in you perfect will, is the brokeness of this world so evident? This was your plan from the beginning of time. Nothing, nothing has, or will ever take you by suprise.

So why, Oh God, did you allow the brokeness to enter in to your perfect world? You could have changed it, because everything has always, and will forever be in your loving hands. But, you chose not to.

You allowed brokeness, because you ARE a loving God.. You did create us in love. You allowed our beauty, joy, and even brokeness to show. Your love for your children so intense that I can't even fathom that love. You rejoice with ME when I rejoice. You hurt with me when I hurt. The Creator, You, my God, of this universe knows me better then anyone!

I really can't wait to meet you!

Not Sure Why

But I'm thinkin' about Heaven tonight. I'm thinking about how glorious that will be.

God is continually teaching me lessons, and when I don't catch on, He gives me a refresher course. He's got 6 billiom others to worry about, and yet He takes time to re-teach me! I feel honored!

I've been through pre-school- twice, kindergarten- twice, 12 grades of school, and then 4 years of Dordt. That's......well, more years then I care to be in school!!

So, you'd think I'd catch on to the lessons that God has been teaching my for my 27 years of life. Some days, I do pretty good. I get a 'gold star' or a smiley face.

But, other days, my Instructor says to me, "You're getting off track a bit, remember what we went over."

My shy response is, "I know. Of course, I get it. I've been studying this stuff for what seems likes ages!"

You know, passing a psychology exam, or even an algebra exam is easy. If you're deligent and look over your notes every night, by test time, you're ready. OR, if you're like me, cramming the night before works relatively well, too!!

However, I've been done with school now for 5 years. But, that doesn't mean I'm done learning. And, unfortunatly, sometimes the lessons of life are harder to learn. Some days, I'm not sure I'm cut out for it.

I'm stubborn. And while that has been one of my greates assets, it has also been a weakness. I'm almost too stubburn sometimes to accept the lessons that God has taught me. I still fight it, even after I've gotten a glimpse of how refreshing it is to embrace these lessons. Not just white-knuckle my way through, but really embracing what I've been taught.

I'm weak. I feel weak these days. But, that's part of the journey, I'm learning.

Here's to that day when the learning will be over....