"Trouble!!" she said as I approached her.
"Hi, how are you?" I replied.
After not seeing her for nearly five years, I was hoping we could have an adult to adult conversation. Besides, didn't I just hear her speak about her troubled past. Her heartache and pain?

I know where you've been, I felt like saying. I know what pain is. Heartache, yea, I've had that, too. And I often don't know what to do with it.

But, instead, I found myself in this sea of people, smiling. Because, that's what I do. I smile. I make poeple feel good about themselves. I make people thankful for the nice-looking, healthy bodies they have.

I smile, while they smile back. And then I go home.

Forget the tight muscles. Or the difficulty eating. Or my spasms. It's a piece of cake.

Compared to the intoxicating lonliness.

And then this song came on

I need you Jesus,
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There’s no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow You

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You




15 minutes later, this song played through my car stereo

"Be still my child," says the Lord.

"Cosider all that I have done," He continues. "Stand in awe and be amazed."

"Put your head upon my breast," He says. "I AM your Father."

"Listen to MY heart of love beating for YOU."

One of My Favorite Guys

He only got stern with me once. My two cousins,Katie and Coby, and I would often spend the night at Grandpa and Grandma's. All three of us were lined up on the living room floor, comfy in our sleeping bags. Minutes after Grandma said, "night girls," we'd have the 12-inch tv on. We made sure to keep it quit as to not wake Gramps and Gram. We knew we were safe when the sound of their snoring came in our direction.

When we'd finally turn the tv off, that clock would chime. Oh, that lovely clock! Grandma had that thing for years. When we got older, and didn't sleep over anymore, she got a quite clock. Nice timing.

Anyway, on to the incident. Saturdays at Gramps and Grams consisted of being outside or going to Granpa's shop. We were Grandpa's three little secretaries. But, this day we stayed at the house. Grandma had the golf cart out. I have to say that their driveway is at about a 60 degree angle. I was a bit too excited to drive appearently, because I took off down that slope and ran right into the light pole across the street. I can still picture he coming down the driveway. "I though I told you to be careful!" I was off golf duty for the day.

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He didn't give up on me. Grampa taught me how to drive. Many poeple have said that its crazy to think I can drive. Here's a little food for thought. When I'm hanging onto something sturdy I don't spaz out. I know, that's an extremely bad way of explaining it, but its 2am. On Sundays Grampa would take me out for a drive. He knew I'd get the hang of it.

He loved to boat. We'd always vacation at lake Cormorot. The kids all learned to ski and tube. Grampa would spend the entire week driving the boat for us. I got burned more times then I care to think about.

Miss you!